I just realized all my heroes are going to die

In my troubled age of twenty-nine
I realized that I shall witness
all my heroes die.
I could get a bucket and fill it
to the brim with rainwater,
dig a hole in the ground,
plant a redwood, watch it grow,
get a job that pays well,
find a girlfriend and get married,
have seven kids, feed them
cold pizza for dinner as
we watch reality TV.
In the morning I could sit
in the little front-beach porch
of a shack-by-the-sea,
my rocking chair overlooking
the sun-rise and sun-fall.
I will contemplate on beginnings,
I will contemplate on ends,
like how mornings now new
are like mornings that went.
Today, I realized
that my heroes will die
like my father before me,
and grandfather before him,
and the hero that used to
live inside me, that hero
that used to have dreams.
I will watch them die.
I will see them die.
I shall witness them vanish
like sunsets swallowed
by a calm, gentle sea.

— A. P.


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