Welcome, friend, come inside and have a salad.
Have you met this person I haven’t met before this event
but pretend that I do in the event I get questioned by
a curious set of eyes curiously set
on passion fruits passionately set by the tables—
oh excuse me, where are my manners, here is the fork,
you can stab the tomato and the pork anywhere you want,
just avoid ruining the cake for now— we have not taken a picture yet.
What are you doing. Do not loiter around. Get around.
Meet at least five people and high-five them and let us toast
to our friendship and our relationships and let us laugh and let us giggle
oh the music is way too loud I cannot hear you
I cannot hear y- oh here comes Kristine! Kristine, Kristine,
Come over here have you met John nice dress why were you late where have you been
Is the traffic still as bad as it did all these years. I remember you from high school,
oh my god we talked a lot and we made so little connection back then and
we did not like each other. I still feel that way but I hide it because I
am a mature human being and I like being fun. Ths wine is great awesome great
This is a great gathering watch me puke and mispl my txts I think Im drnk
Baby call a cab, baby how about all those years we shared you told me you loved me oh my god
This Pokemon GO thing is great let me get this one thing off my chest—I don’t like you, no—
I hated you since the first time we met I
never liked you and the way you always hung around my boyfriend,
well… my ex but that is not the point oh wow this is great food what is the point of living
I thought you loved me let’s take a dive in the pool. I cannot drive.
Please let me go home…

Oh, cake!

— A. P.